Sanity Check

It's official. I talk to myself when I'm alone. It happened for the first time today and I literally stopped what I was doing to take note and remember not to let it happen again! I know it's not a big deal, but when you're living alone for the first time, it's probably important to squash those issues before they develop further. So if I befriend a soccer ball named Wilson and begin confiding in him as my only companion, I'm relying on someone out there to rescue my sanity!

When the house is a bit too quiet for my taste, I seek the company of my TV friends. I'm afraid I'm forming unhealthy relationships with hosts of the Today Show, Rachel Ray and Ellen DeGeneres. They are quite reliable - joining me every day at the same time and place. And they don't require much from me. They're perfectly content to carry on, providing just enough background noise as I go about my business around the house.

And then my pilot calls! I usually get so excited when I see that weird number pop up on my phone that my heart starts racing and I answer the call in a jittery, high pitched voice, like a middle schooler who gets a call from her crush. I usually pace the house rather briskly as I talk. Today my hubby started laughing at me because he said I sounded out of breath while I went on and on about my day. It's hard to control my excitement sometimes! Even though I'm sad that he's gone, I don't let any negative feelings interfere with our fun phone time. I want him to know that everything is running smoothly on the homefront and I am doing well. I am comforted when we goof around over the phone like we do at home - telling silly jokes and phrases, and working in some of our "code words." Every call is monitored, so we created some sayings with alternative meanings that only we understand. ;-) I like the light-hearted nature of our conversations. It keeps us from dwelling on the obvious negative stuff - we already know how much it sucks to be apart and how much we miss each other. I think understanding that he misses me exactly as much as I miss him makes it easier. Those phone calls recharge me for the rest of the day.

I'm glad I have this blog. If anything, it will keep me from talking to myself. Please feel free to talk back!