The Homestretch

With days left until I leave to see him, the excitement is clouded over with frustrations of the excruciatingly slow drag of each day, hour and minute. I'm finding this last part of the deployment hardest for me. Maybe it's my lack of patience, or the exhaustion and drain is setting in. It's a strange thing, because I am excited, but frustrated at the same time. I actually teared up on the phone with him tonight when he sensed that I was a bit down. It was the first time that has happened, which I think is strange, since this is the last week. But I'm pretty sure I understand what's going on - it's transition time.

I'm starting to subconsciously tear down the "wall," as I like to call it. For survival purposes, I naturally revert to my more independent nature when the hubby is away. This creates a harder exterior (the "wall"), which keeps my emotions under control. It's crumbling as the days grow near. This is a good thing, because keeping the wall up when we're together creates an unhealthy distance between us.

I'm beyond ready to get on that plane; although, I've strategically left important things to do until the last few days, so I'm not sitting around twiddling my thumbs. I've been completely one-track minded - daydreaming about jumping in his arms and spending 2 weeks in an amazing place - just the two of us. This has affected my ability to focus and accomplish even the most simple, routine tasks. Even my friends have noticed! As if I don't always rely on lists and reminders throughout the day, they are of vital importance at this point!



Impatiently waiting,