Never a Dull Moment

With this life of excitement, change, surprises, and uncertainties, all is held together by relationships bonded and bound by an unspoken understanding shared only by those apart of this unique world. The ebb and flow of deployments, TDYs, PCSs, PCAs, and the like, wane in comparison to experiencing the death of a member of this community of heros. In the past year we have lost three pilots and close friends, and while B and I did not know the F-16 pilot who died in a crash this week, we have good friends who know him and his family well. While life always brings tragic times and trials of many kind, it seems the frequency and severity of the trials that we face in the military community bring unique challenges. We must learn to manage our emotions despite constant ups and downs, disappointments, and sometimes shocking news. We must press on despite feeling beat down and worn out. We must be strong despite our worries and fears. We must be warriors at home to provide strength to our warriors overseas. We must put aside our wants and dreams in support of a bigger picture, a nobler cause. We must wait and be patient. Endure and not complain. Enjoy each moment in the moment. Live and love fully and intentionally. All of these things we learn from this unique, beautiful, heart-wrenching, growth-producing life.

We found out last week that B will be PCAing to a training squadron, where he will be instructing and staying home from deployments for 1-2 years. We are so grateful and excited for this taste of "normal" life! He was supposed to be out the door for #8 in March for four months, so this came as a joyous surprise. We are thrilled! As excited as I am for this change and blessing, I feel for my friends who are gearing up for yet another deployment. Until last week's news, we were in the same boat. The schedule has been so demanding on everyone and I will continue to pray and be there for our military family.

Still loving life,

Military Mrs.

Faith, Hope, and Love

Veteran's Day - thankful, thoughtful, and proud today. Proud of my husband's hard work and sacrifice. Proud to be an American. Proud to be free.

This deployment has flown by and as we near the end, I reflect on the last few months. Many wonder how we military wives do this day in and day out. I tell them - It's all about your attitude, your relationships with others, your relationship with God, and your relationship with your husband. I would rather be with him and waiting than not be with him, any day. I would wait forever for my man.

Are there hard days? Um, yeah. But they fade in comparison to the brilliance of his homecoming and the many many sweet moments we share when together. And that's what we focus on. That's what matters. I never thought I was cut out for this lifestyle, but here I am, happier than ever! No situation is perfect, and some even seem really bad. But our outlooks, attitudes, and perceptions are what determine the outcome and experience. In the midst of the many unknowns on our horizon these days, we continue to live in the present, one day at a time, with faith, hope, and love.

Blessings this Veteran's Day. Live and love wholeheartedly.


Military Mrs.

Lucky #7

The number seven has been the common theme lately. My husband and I just celebrated the seventh anniversary of the day we met, our dog just turned seven (in dog years, aka 1 human year), we are on deployment number seven, and this is our seventh year of military life. I have a feeling the next year will be our best one yet.

Speaking of the next year, there are many unknowns on the horizon. I am trying to maintain peace, but it is a constant challenge. There is a good chance we may have to move to a less than ideal location next year. This may involve continued demanding deployments for another 4 to 5 years. We know it is in God's hands, and worrying does no good, but I'd be lying if I said my anxiety levels haven't been elevated lately. Nonetheless, we continue fighting the good fight, trusting in Him, and focusing on the positive. Life is good and God is great.

I count my blessings every morning that I get to wake up to my husband's sweet face on Skype. Years ago, wives would go months without a letter from their husbands off at war. So yes, I count my blessings. I get excited on a Saturday night when I meet my husband online for a Google date, just the two of us. Not everyone has the opportunity to spend an evening with someone who makes them laugh, knows their heart, and loves them beyond words. So yes, I get excited.

It's a unique life that we live, and many may not understand. But the fruitful blessings that abound declare the wondrous love that we share and Christ's perfect love for us.

Military Mrs.

One Year

It's hard to believe it's been exactly one year since my last post. Where has the time gone? So much has happened since Sept. 9th, 2011! It's deployment time again, and several have passed since my last post. The ups and downs, challenges and triumphs of this year were strengthening. I look forward to more writing when I can find the time and brainpower despite a demanding work schedule and way too many Master's papers. So more to come later. For now, it's just nice to be back in blogger world.

Military Mrs.

Suffering produces strength

Another sad trip to the airport this morning. Deployment #5 has begun. I don't think I will ever be "used" to the deployments. I will never be less sad than the time before. And I think that's a good thing. While I have learned to cope in healthy ways, and understand what to expect and how to handle the various ups and downs that come with this lifestyle, I refuse to become hardened or to neglect my emotions and feelings.

We were so blessed to enjoy extra time together during the past 8 months, as B was given a break from the last deployment (so this would be his 6th). We got a little taste of normal, but I'm afraid it was a bit of a tease! ;) Nonetheless, I am so thankful for the extended time home.

While I am missing him this first night alone, I am reminded of and encouraged by the strength that suffering brings. I am trusting in my God for a peaceful spirit and strength through trials tonight and throughout this deployment.

Back to the Basics

Life is distracting. As a real estate agent, my days are often occupied with busy work that doesn't seem to produce any sort of life-improving results. My mind is filled with "remember to do this, call him back, meet her there, email that, learn this, and hurry hurry!" I've noticed that I have been neglecting much needed time each day to rest, reflect, read, pray, and rejuvenate amidst a life of so many distractions. How easy it is to get caught up in the race, to forget the basics.

Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is true contentment and how do I attain it? Meditating on the answers to these questions and revolving my life around such truths rebuilds my strength and focus. But without repetition, it is amazing how quickly distractions and lies sneak in to thwart my path.

Today I am re-centering, rebuilding strength, remembering the basics.

All about ME

My husband is incredibly selfless. Lately I have been observing his natural tendencies to fulfill the wants and needs of others (especially me) before his own. He seems to have this innate ability to instantly react to others exactly as they wish, seemingly at the expense of his own happiness. But actually, what makes him most happy is making others happy. So he will go where they want to go, do what they want to do, etc. without complaint. Ever. The man seriously never complains. I admire and envy this trait.

And whose happiness does he (self proclaimed) concern himself most with? Well mine of course! This is obviously a normal and healthy phenomenon between two happily married people - we both aim above all else to make each other happy. However, sometimes I feel the balance is unfair. It is so easy to make B happy. Generally, if I'm happy, he is happy. Nothing much phases him or affects his level of happiness - not work, other people, life issues, worldly problems, etc.

Me on the other hand - I feel like there are so many things that can affect my happiness. I accept that part of the reason for this difference between us is that I am a woman - the more emotional being. Feelings and emotions tend to drive my moods and level of happiness. This is not a brand new epiphany. Obviously, this difference of the sexes is common knowledge to all. I just sometimes wish I operated on a simpler level. More cut and dry. Black and white. I sometimes wish I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve. B is so in tune with my moods that there is no avoiding the frequent discussions of what I'm dealing with at the very moment. His patience is astounding. In the three years that we've been married, I feel like I've personally been through a marathon of hills and hurdles. The growth and lessons learned have and continue to be well worth the struggle. It's just the idea of burdening B with the imbalance of emotional focus on me compared to him that I dislike. I used to deny certain aspects of my female nature (in an effort to fit in with and be more appealing to men) - especially my emotional tendencies - but as I grow older I am finally accepting and embracing that which separates me from men.

Yes, I am a woman. I like to talk about my feelings. B is a man. He does not like to talk about his feelings. But he sure is a great and willing listener when I need to talk. So I guess I'm okay with that.

I am grateful for a husband who has the patience and desire to continually join me in my personal therapy sessions, as I call my needs to talk about my feelings concerning day to day life, my job, my own growths, hurts, awakenings, observations, etc. I just don't want to get to a point where I am subconsciously taking advantage of my husband's willingness to put my wants and needs before his. He tells me that his role is to provide for and protect his bride and future family, and that a big part of that is doing what he can to make me happy. I don't deserve such loving and honorable treatment, but since I have been blessed with it the last thing I want to do is grow so accustomed that I lose appreciation and drift toward an "all about ME" attitude. How to combat this? I want to focus more on my husband's wants - not just the everyday-standard-good wife stuff, but truly considering unique ways to make him happy. Just because he naturally defaults to whatever I want to do, where I want to go, etc., constantly revolving around my happiness, doesn't mean he doesn't have opinions and wants hidden in there somewhere. I want to be more attune to him, and less to me. I know I will always primarily be more apt to talk about my feelings and blah blah blah, and I shouldn't expect him to do the same as it is contrary to his nature. But just because he doesn't like to talk about himself, his issues, world issues, other people's issues, (you catch my drift) doesn't mean there aren't other ways to focus attention in a more fair and balanced manor in our relationship.

Still learning and growing with each new day...

Hills

Life is like a run through the hills. I am in upstate New York with my family this week. My morning runs along the lake through the hills remind me of the never ending ups and downs of life. The only thing that keeps me running up the hills is the sheer bliss and weightless relief of coasting down the other side. Every hill has an up and down. While running, I know this and prepare accordingly. The downhill and flat periods of the run are opportunities to regain strength for the next hill. This should be the same in our daily lives. Times of joy, happiness, and simplicity should be understood as opportunities to strengthen, rejuvenate, refill, and prepare.

Sometimes I find myself expecting that the good times will last forever - obviously a delusion far from reality, most likely fueled by denial of life's inevitable ups and downs. Rather than appreciating the opportunity to grow and strengthen in preparation, I sometimes take the time for granted and grow accustom to the ease and comfort. When life's trials and challenges return, as they always do in various forms, I feel blindsided if not prepared.

Life is hilly. There's no denying it. We can't get too comfortable in any particular state. We will ascend, descend, sometimes plateau, and repeat. We have little control over the trials we will face, but we can control how we choose to face them. I hope to face them with confidence, preparation, strength, and acceptance - knowing the uphill battle eventually leads to liberation and relief.

Attitude is everything. Let's ponder positively, apply continuously, and pass on generously.

Israel

My husband and I spent the past two weeks in Israel and Greece, hence the lack of posting. This was an amazing experience and truly a trip like no other. Complete with many ups and downs, we traveled around the whole country of Israel enjoying new foods and captivating sites, and also bearing and learning to be patient with different cultures and lifestyles than our own. Highlights of the trip included hiking Mount Masada at sunrise and swimming in the dead sea, and a relaxing day on the secluded Lindos Beach in Rhodes, Greece where we sunbathed on the rocks overlooking a gorgeous cove and snorkeled through underwater caves and along the bluffs of the shoreline.

We spent four days in Jerusalem and found ourselves fairly disappointed with this part of the trip, as we assumed it would be a pinnacle point of the overall experience. Over the course of my 24 years of biblical study, I have naturally developed perceptions of historical sites and events. I somewhat expected (or hoped) to walk the grassy Hill of Calvary and kneel at the foot of a cross. I envisioned an empty tomb still intact and preserved. I imagined the Mount of Olives as a peaceful hilltop lush with olive trees and other foliage. Today each of these sites, along with every other well-known Christian site that we visited, is built up and over with extravagant, often gaudy churches and cathedrals. A combination of excessive religiousness coupled with tourist-driven commercialism seemed to detract from the authenticity and holiness of this beloved territory. I couldn't help but imagine how our Savior would respond when walking around present-day Jerusalem. I like to think that He would appreciate the gestures, but express little interest in the grandiosity and much more in the people.

I feel incredibly blessed to have visited the Holy Land, and will probably be processing all of the details of my experience for weeks to come.

Still sorting through over 1500 pictures, but here are a few from the places mentioned above..

It's the simple things

New growth is so exciting. Planting, pruning, blooming, and producing. There is a profound satisfaction that one enjoys after a hard day of yard work and upkeep. Here I sit on the back deck, admiring the vibrant colors of my begonias, impatiens, azaleas, marigolds, and lavender blossoms. And oh how I love to pause from cooking dinner to clip some fresh rosemary and basil for the meal, all the while sipping a mojito made with delicious fresh mint.

Yes, it's the simple things in life that seem to bring the greatest sense of satisfaction, peace, and contentment. Expensive things can be fun, exciting thrills are sweet for a moment, but there's nothing quite like the enjoyment we receive from the amazing blessings offered through nature and everyday life.

The video game battle

Last night B and I got into a "discussion" about a frequently recurring topic: video games. He loves them. I don't. He wishes I would play. I wish he wouldn't. He thinks they're awesome. I think they're nerdy and a waste of time. This is a battle that neither of us will ever win, I'm afraid. But I'm trying to convince myself that it need not be a battle at all.

I think the underlying problem here is that B and I are so compatible in just about every other aspect of our lives. So because we differ so drastically in this one area, it seems way more of an issue than it is. I feel bad because I'm not into that stuff and he feels bad because he is. I get annoyed when he's in video game world and he gets annoyed when I get annoyed. It's a stupid cycle and I've decided that it is ridiculous. It is healthy to have unique interests, and each individual should respect the other's individuality rather than attempting to change what he or she doesn't like (within reason - for instance, I'm not condoning 24-hr gaming binges by any means). Easier said than done. But like I said, I'm trying to convince myself. Good talk.

Sunny Sundays

We have been searching for a new home church for the past few months. I think we found it this morning. I prayed before we left, for direction and guidance if this was where we should be. B and I both left feeling excited and right at home. I am so thankful and can't wait to check it out again next week.

We enjoyed a lovely breakfast, some Sunday driving, and beautiful beach time. I love Sundays with my husband. Short post today.. still relishing in this glorious day with my love.

To be content...

Seeking true contentment in life seems to be a neverending pursuit of the human race. I think I may spend my whole life learning to "be content whatever the circumstances." Just when I feel that I am completely content, I am tempted once again to want something more, be something different, have something I don't. These distractions attempt to throw me off course in pursuit of temporary satisfactions, when all the while I already have way more than I need or deserve to be happy.

I found myself contemplating the last few years of my life, which have been far different than I ever planned, but far greater just the same. Challenging, yes. Frustrating, sometimes. Character building, absolutely. I've learned that I am not defined by a job. From public relations, to interior decorating, substitute teaching, home businesses, graduate school, modeling, catering, personal training, to real estate agent. You name it, I've pursued it or at least dabbled, all in the past two and a half years. Is this due to my lack of contentment with whatever I am currently pursuing? Or am I learning to be content with my seemingly "jack of all trades" personality and lifestyle? I believe (and hope) that the former is beginning to transition into the latter. Either way, I am finding how less relevant a job is to one's character and legacy on this earth. To me, life is about relationships and loving others. I would much rather be remembered in that way than as a success in the world's eye.

I met a new friend last night while out with hubby. After telling her about my various "jobs" in the past, and feelings about our beautiful, but rather career-limiting area, her response surprised me. She told me to enjoy this time in my life because I have the opportunity to work or not work thanks to the security of my husband's career. I take this for granted all the time. I am so blessed - and humbled by my unworthiness.

-Still learning to be content whatever the circumstances...

New Beginnings

Spring is in the air - along with new beginnings, growth, color, and excitement. Until now, this blog has served purely as a place for ramblings related to experiences as a military wife, and I generally only wrote during deployment times. Well not only is there more to discuss in life than deployments, but my passion for writing far exceeds the complacent status to which it has sunk in the previous months. So with the freshness of Spring, I find new goals and plans for the coming months in full bloom. For starters, I plan to set aside time every day for writing. Whether or not anyone is out there to read my ramblings, this is more of a personal process than anything. And as these ramblings are somewhat public, a sense of accountability ensues. Yes, these creative challenges are often cliche, but here we go, nevertheless. I generally have a lot to say, think about, write - even if just to myself half of the time. I dream of being an author someday, but have so much more to experience and learn in this life before I can even pretend to know what I'm talking about. And I have to start somewhere. So here it begins.

My Christmas Present

Well here we are at the end of another deployment. These two and a half months have been an absolute whirlwind for me. I feel terrible to have neglected my posts, but am overwhelmed with the peace and contentment of another deployment down and so many recent blessings to account for.

So much has happened while hubby has been away, which made the time fly by. Here are the highlights:

• finished another semester of grad school


• got my real estate license and am partnering with a friend on a major niche project in 2011 involving tons of buyers and plenty of work to keep me busy


• signed with a modeling agency


• visited family in Nashville, and had my sisters visit me here this weekend to celebrate Christmas early


• had the guest room in my home occupied for most of the deployment - from friends, to family, to people passing through


• went all out with Christmas decorations this year, including lights on the house for the first time!


• hosted a Christmas cookie exchange, which I plan to make an annual tradition


• attended several awesome Christmas parties and gift exchanges with wonderful friends

Needless to say, I could hardly find the time to sleep, much less keep up with my blog unfortunately. But it has been a blessing to have so many wonderful opportunities come my way and to feel so loved and fulfilled with so many social events and visitors.

Now I sit on my couch. The house is all quiet (a nice change, actually). My tree twinkles in the corner, illuminating the room and reminding me of the warmth and comfort that this season brings. I can sit and reflect on the past few months, and relish in the peace and joy of now - the most wonderful time of the year. For as long as I can remember, Christmas has been the most amazing, magical, loving time for me. I am not a very emotional person, but during these few, last weeks of the year, I can't help being overly sappy with friends and family, shedding a tear as I watch Miracle on 34th Street yet again, and smiling with a surprising love and patience as I venture into the shopping rat race in search of the perfect gifts. Yes, this is a truly Christ-filled season for those who dwell on such aspects.

In a matter of hours now, I will be receiving the best Christmas present ever. My husband will return to me once again. The decorations around the house, and hustle and bustle outside are only further reminders that his return is nearing. What more could I ask for than the love of my life coming home during the most joyful, romantic time of year? We will be spending Christmas day at home, just the two of us this year. Since he arrives so close to Christmas, we want to enjoy every moment that we have together. We will be skyping my family during present time on Christmas morning though, which should be fun! Hubby and I have a delicious menu planned for Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, and Christmas dinner. From crab legs, to cornish hens, to banana's foster french toast.. mmmm.. can't wait. Hopefully I will have my appetite back by then. I am always so jittery and excited the week before he gets home that eating is the last thing I can think about.

So now I'll try to get some sleep, but probably not much! I am so happy to have my other half home soon.

Merry Christmas!

P.S. - I am planning on much more devotion to my blog in 2011!

Distractions

I love them.

What a blessing to spend the first week of a deployment with family. They provide all the right forms of distraction: laughter, busy schedules, comings and goings, and plenty of noise! This week was great, considering how much I miss my hubby. I will head home in a few days.

This week I have a break from my Master's classes. My next two start up on Monday. While I am enjoying this break, I am anxious to get going on my next 2 months of classes. This has nothing to do with the actual work. I am just feeling extremely impatient for the next two months to fly by. Oh, the things I would do for a fast forward button for life.. Or even the ability to nap for a couple of months. It's not that life is terribly unbearable without B, it just makes me so impatient because I know how much better everything is when we're together! How come when you want time to fly by, it takes forever, and when you want time to stand still, it races on faster than ever? My classes will serve as excellent distractions, and hopefully help the time to pass at a decent pace.

Random Pondering: love as an action. Lately I've been contemplating what it means to truly love other people. I believe this is our calling and purpose in life as human beings, but often feel that I am falling short. It is easy to love when we feel loving, or when someone is particularly easy to love. But truly loving others is much different, and much more difficult. Our culture seems to dwell more on the "feeling" definition of love, whereas God seems to emphasize the action: "Love is patient, love is kind, etc.." Thus, love is not just something we feel, but something we do no matter how we feel. I want to love like this.

More later..

#4

It's that time again..

Said goodbye again this morning. While this is becoming routine, it is not becoming any easier. We are much better at the transitions now, but saying goodbye still feels like someone punched me in the gut. The good news.. I'll be receiving the BEST Christmas present ever this year! (God willing there are no delays on the trip home).

We had a wonderful weekend before he left today. Friday, we went shopping and had a nice dinner out. Saturday night we rocked the house as Jane Fonda and Richard Simmons at an awesome 80's party...

And Sunday, we spent most of the day at the beach...

So here we go for round 4. More challenges. More growth. More changes. Many more philosophical ramblings to come.

Getting close!

What a slacker! I can't believe my lack of posts lately. Life has been good. Here's a taste of what I've been up to the last couple of weeks...

Perfecting my trampoline skills is just one of the fun and relaxing activities I've enjoyed at the lake so far. My family spends every summer up on this lake - I've been visiting since I was a baby. I love it here! It's been perfect for passing the time until hubby returns. Other than being a vacation bum, I've been working on my classes and trying to train for this triathalon I'm doing in October. It's going pretty well, but swimming in the open water is much more difficult than in the pool!

We're in the homestretch now for B's homecoming. The end of the deployment is almost as emotionally crazy as the beginning, I think. I am beyond excited, which makes me restless, anxious, scatterbrained, I lose my appetite, it's weird! I was trying to explain the feeling to my sisters the other day, but I don't know if they could fully understand. I think it's one of those parts of the military life that you have to experience to fully grasp. Part of the anxious/nervous feeling is the result of the many unknowns involved in any military related event or situation. I can't help hoping that everything will run smoothly, with no deviation from the plan that may cause disappoinment and stress. But my understanding of the liklihood of planes breaking down, travel delays, etc. creates added tension and nerves. But, as soon as I spot him in the airport and run back into his arms, all of the uncertainties fade away and yet another honeymoon begins with the sheer bliss of a perfect match reunited.

Not much longer now...

July 1st!

Ok, it's officially the month of hubby's return! Granted, it will be towards the end of the month, but it's still exciting! The last few weeks have flown by. I am now with my family in upstate NY and will stay here until B meets me up here after his deployment. I am loving the peaceful solitude of being on the lake, as well as the wonderful company of my family. What a perfect combination, and excellent environment as I focus on my master's classes and anticipate hubby's return. I am really enjoying my graduate program so far. The classes are a ton of work, which is good because they keep me busy and I am truly enjoying the learning process. It's amazing how much more enjoyable school can be when it is an option, rather than a mandate. I am especially enjoying it these days, as I study from our deck overlooking a gorgeous glacier lake in the hills of NY. Today it was 70 degrees and sunny. I will post pictures soon!


Speaking of pictures, check out the adorable puppies I visited on my drive up to NY:




B and I will be picking one of these little guys up on our drive home the beginning of August! I put a deposit on our choice of the two males. I'm so excited! We've been thinking about getting dogs for about 2 years now, and have finally decided to go for it. These are labrador/standard poodle mixes, so they don't shed. We are also going to get a white one of the same mix, or a white purebred lab. I found an excellent breeder in Birmingham. We will get both dogs from her.


Well the pillow is calling my name. I have an early breakfast date with dad tomorrow.. Is it just me, or do all dads love going out to breakfast at the crack of dawn? Correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, I have much more to ramble about I'm sure, so I'll write more later. I have slacked big time on my posts this deployment. With all the traveling and starting my master's, I haven't been as devoted to writing as I would like. I will attempt to turn that around during these last few weeks of deployment time. It's finally July! Yay! I'm so excited for my best friend to come home to me!

911

Husband gone = I am protector of the household. When the alarm goes off in the middle of the night, I have to handle it. You always have this plan in your mind for what to do if certain emergencies happen - fire, a break-in, etc. So I reacted according to plan initially, but found that in my planning fantasies, I was much braver than I actually am. Let's reenact.. I'm sleeping soundly with Julie & Julia still playing quietly on the TV and my bedroom door closed and locked as usual. Alarm sounds for about 15 seconds and then says "garage door entry." I sit up straight in bed and have my 9MM (which resides on my nightstand locked and loaded every night) in my hands before I even process what's going on. The alarm stops, and I listen for any sounds of someone in the house. If the alarm goes off, ADT calls immediately. I received no call for the first minute. Weird. I have a million scenarios running through my head - someone knew our code, broke in and turned the alarm off and are waiting outside my door, stuff like that - At this point I realize I'm going to have to leave my room to find out what's going on. But I'm literally frozen with my heart jumping out of my chest. I call our good friend Jared, who lives just a few minutes away. He talks to me while I muster up the confidence to open my door and peek down the hall. Sure enough, the door from the laundry room to the garage is open. Now I'm thinking someone tried to come in, or is in the house somewhere. I close my door and lock it again. Then I remember that I have a gun in my hand. I am protector of the house. Still on the phone with Jared, I walk through the house checking each room. I still haven't heard from the alarm company and can't figure out why. I hang up with Jared, and notice some headlights coming down the road. I had never been so excited to see a cop car in my life. I half ran out the front door to meet the police officer - gun still in hand. She explained that the alarm company still had my old cell number on file, and then obviously they couldn't reach B's line since he's deployed. So they sent the police. The officer came in and cleared the house, garage and backyard, and stayed for a few minutes talking to me. She was super nice. A neighbor stopped by to make sure everything was ok. Talk about a lot of commotion for an average Monday night. We decided it could have been either the AC unit kicking on extra hard and pushing the door open, or the wind coming through the garage at just the right angle. The external garage door was closed the whole time, so I don't think anyone tried to break in. But this has never happened before, so you can imagine the scare I had! Boy do I wish hubby were here tonight. Don't plan on getting much sleep tonight.

I love my gun.